October is National Domestic (DV) Awareness Month in the United States. Domestic Violence shelters and programs are in all fifty states. This month extra attention is given to raising public awareness of the prevalence of Domestic Violence. INFORMATION MAY BE TRIGGERING.

I invite you on a journey. Daddy was an animal lover. Our home had at least one dog, but usually two, and sometimes a cat. If it’s possible for Daddy to have a favorite dog it was Harmony. A beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever—she jumped in the pool right along with the kids, loved to fetch as much as a ballplayer who dreams of catching that pop fly that wins the World Series. I have lovely memories of spirited, yet gentle Harmony playing tug-of-war with my toddler, and then there’s the time the camera lens caught a certain little fellow holding Harmony’s tail during a family photo. Harmony was great with kids, well, actually with everyone, even other animals. Daddy and Harmony grew old together.

One time Daddy had to leave Harmony overnight. Not wanting to leave her in a kennel, a friend referred him to an individual who dog-sits. Upon returning home and walking toward the house, the closer Daddy got the more disturbed he became. Hearing yelling and screaming inside, Daddy walked faster, pausing just long enough to peer through the large picture window. Harmony was cornered and frozen in fear, eyes pleading. The individual’s large hands were placed on either side of her head shaking it wildly. By the time Daddy got his keys out of his pocket, into the keyhole, and opened the door the dog-sitter was on the floor petting Harmony and with a smile announced, “Welcome Home!”

I encourage you to sit in the story with me. What if Harmony was your pet? How are you feeling? What are your thoughts? What would you do? Might you just have a little talk with the individual, clear up any misunderstandings, and schedule your next out-of-town trip with the dog-sitter? After all, there are no black eyes, no bruising, and Harmony seems fine, plus it was only once. Thank you for taking this journey with me. Everything in the story is true except—Daddy never left Harmony with anyone.

According to numerous Domestic Violence websites and crunching the numbers on average 1 in 4 women in the United States experience Domestic Violence.

The Domestic Violence numbers do not include individuals who don’t report. It’s believed the number of women in the church who experience Domestic Violence could be as high as 1 in 3 since women of faith tend to keep what’s happening behind closed doors a secret—portraying an image that our house and our family are perfectly fine.

I live in Oklahoma. According to Palomar: Oklahoma Cities Family Justice Center:

“The statistics for domestic violence are staggering, and Oklahoma has the highest prevalence of domestic violence in the country, meaning that almost half of all women and more than a third of men will experience it in their lifetime. Domestic violence affects people regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and religious affiliation. This means that everyone knows someone who needs to know what resources are available.

While domestic violence seems daunting, it is important to remember that helping to end domestic violence starts with just one small action, whether that is seeking out help for yourself or supporting someone that is experiencing it.

If someone tells you this is happening to them, the number one thing you can do for them is to believe them. Secondly, recognize that these situations are complex and difficult and that there are many reasons victims feel trapped or even return to abusive situations. It is important to support them without judging the decisions they make. Isolation is a key component of an abusive relationship, so even if they don’t accept the offer, it’s important to keep the door open for them. Finally, encourage them to create a safety plan and to explore their options for services, but resist the urge to “rescue.” It is incredibly difficult to watch someone you care about suffer through abuse but understand that only they have the power to make the decision to leave, and that it often takes multiple attempts before they leave for good. Palomar understands that supporting a loved one can be emotionally difficult…”

PROVERBS 31:8-9, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.”

Our past does not define who we are; it’s just a part of our history. God defines who we are—We are His, loved with an everlasting love, beloved with God-given purpose. Our history becomes His Story in His eternal plan. Let us hold steady as Jesus holds us fast and leads us one step at a time, day by day. In Christ there is hope that our future will be better than yesterday, and our forever will be better than we could ever begin to imagine.

RESOURCES

Call 911 if you are in a life-threatening situation.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Phone: 800-799-SAFE (7283)
Website: https://www.thehotline.org/

Palomar: Oklahoma Cities Family Justice Center
Website: Palomarokc.org/

Book: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Video: Bullying-A Cultural Issue with Author and Speaker Candice Dugger
(The second leading cause of death in ten-year-olds is suicide)

One day there will be no more tears (See Revelation:21:4). 🌻