October is National Domestic (DV) Awareness Month in the United States. Domestic Violence shelters and programs are in all fifty states. This month extra attention is given to raising public awareness of the prevalence of Domestic Violence. INFORMATION MAY BE TRIGGERING.

Domestic Violence. Two words that can be hard to talk about. Two words that can be hard to define.

Browsing numerous DV websites—much of the information is similar; part of the below excerpts are from ReachMA (MA stands for Massachusettes).

According to ReachMA—Abuse is a pattern of behaviors that one person uses to gain and maintain power and control over another person.

Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse is any non-consensual sexual act or behavior. Sexual abuse is common in an abusive relationship, but it is not often talked about. Sexual abuse may include rape, molestation, sexual assault, physical restraint, creating an environment where the person is fearful to say no, reproductive coercion, denying protection, and forced prostitution.

Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is one tactic that an abuser may use to control another person and instill an environment of constant fear. Physical abuse may include hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, strangling, smothering, using or threatening to use weapons, shoving, interrupting your sleep, throwing things, destroying property, hurting or killing pets, and denying medical treatment. 

Emotional/Verbal/Psychological Abuse
Emotional abuse (which can also be referred to as verbal or psychological abuse) is defined as deliberate emotional harm or manipulation. Emotional abuse is one of the most common forms and is just as harmful as physical abuse. Emotional abuse may include constant put-downs or criticisms, name-calling, threats, isolation, gas-lighting, yelling, threatening suicide, minimizing or blaming, using privilege as a family member or caregiver, using culture or religion* to justify behaviors, and denying access to spiritual/traditional events. Emotional abuse also includes withholding acts or behaviors of affection or words of affection, as a way of punishment and coercion, until the victim “gets their act together”. 

Financial Abuse
Financial abuse is when an abusive person controls or limits another person’s access to financial resources. Financial abuse may include controlling an allowance, not allowing someone to have their own money, hiding family assets, running up debt, ruining credit, interfering with or getting someone fired from their job, and improper use of funds/property/assets/power of attorney.

*Spiritual Abuse
In general, 1 in 4 women in the United States experience Domestic Violence. It is thought that in the Church the numbers could be as high as 1 in 3 women because Women of Faith tend to keep silent. Spiritual abuse is using the Bible as a weapon to control another person.

Depending on your translation, there are between 788,280 to 757,439 words in the Holy Bible. Of these, there are scores of specific chapters and verses that men use as weapons of spiritual and emotional abuse, as well as justification for their own sinful behavior. (These Scriptures are easily found by using Google).

Below are two POWERHOUSE verses, eleven words total, spoken by countless men in the comfort of their homes to instill fear and control and ensure silence. Victims (women and children) tend to keep silent—especially “Christian” families tend to keep silent. What happens in the home, stays in the home.

Ephesians 5:24b, “Wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Men have lorded this verse over their wives, and it’s appalling and evil beyond imagination the “everything” that has and is taking place in legions of “Christian” homes.

Malachi 2:16, “…God hates divorce…”
“God hates divorce” is the death nail in the heart of countless thousands of Women of Faith enslaved in abusive marriages. Precious souls suffering, deep in sorrow and pain with no relief “until death do us part”. Some are contemplating suicide. I get that; I’m glad I didn’t. If that’s you, call 911. Get help now. And one day you will look back and say, “I’m glad I didn’t.”

What is God’s heart?

Luke 4:16-19, “And he [Jesus] came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up. And as was his custom, he went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and he stood up to read. And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written, ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.’”

Throughout the Word of God, the heart of God is for the fatherless, orphans, widows, poor, captives, slaves, outcasts, downtrodden, abused, foreigners, the oppressed.

Wherever you are on your journey, there is help and there is hope. I encourage you to reach out to a trusted friend. Use the “CONTACT” link on the HOME Navigation Bar to reach out to me. The resources below are lifelines.

Sometimes God rescues marriages and sometimes God rescues individuals out of a marriage.

RESOURCES

Call 911 if you are in a life-threatening situation.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Phone: 800-799-SAFE (7283)
Website: https://www.thehotline.org/

ReachMA
Hotline Phone: 800-899-4000

Video: There is something worse than divorce
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuNmgkeJsf8
Pastor Winston Bosch, Jubilee Church, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
A Shepherd shares the Holy Word of The Good Shepherd.

Book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick
There is a difference between a hard marriage and an emotionally destructive marriage. In this book, the author explains the difference through scriptures and life examples. Book’s filled with practical advice, lots of hope, and the final six pages “Resources for Help”.

Book: Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Natalie Hoffman

One day there will be no more tears (See Revelation:21:4).🌻