Christmas Eve 2023. Touchdown! Southern California and what a warm welcome—not a white Christmas (Woohoo) and my sister Rosie picking me up at the airport (Halleloo). Meeting up with family, we attended a lovely Christmas Eve Candle Light Worship Service. A great start to celebrating the Holydays!

Christmas morning the fireplace blazed and crackled on the Flat-screen, music gently filled the air as we gathered ’round the Tree and lingered. The littles are at that age where they kinda remember last year but not much. They didn’t have a hard time falling asleep the night before Christmas. I think next year that may change. Children add such joy and surprise daily, even more so on special occasions, especially if it involves opening gifts. Gifts—some were practical, others sentimental and thoughtful, and of course toys and clothes.

Warm days and cool nights and time stood still making precious memories. There were laughs and just a few tears, long walks and longer talks. It was wondrous to finally be together again!

New Year’s Eve gave way to 2024 and the countdown to January 3, flying back home to landlocked Oklahoma loomed.

However first, Rosie and I had to do our tradition or maybe it’s become more like my tradition—sometimes I have to twist her arm. I don’t think I’m demanding usually, but I can be. And I was!

Climbing into Rosie’s Torch Red Race Pace Chevy Monte Carlo I thought back to the day I first hopped into the passenger leather bucket seat. Tapping the speedometer she asked, “Have you ever seen that? The speedometer reads 140 mph!”

Honestly, I hadn’t. I had never paid attention to the highest number on a speedometer.

She read my face like the cover of a book and went on to educate me…Race Pace Car… Wowzers!

My precious sister (affectionately called Grandma Rose) smiles big, “I purchased this for “J” (that would be her first-born grandson) and after he gets his Driving Permit this car will be his!”

“Rosie, that’s amazing!”

I’m the sister with the Calendar who rarely leaves home without it, and she doesn’t even own one. What?! My sister has plans for ten-plus years down the road. Wowzers!

We headed a few miles west to one of our favorite restaurants. While waiting for our table we walked along the Pacific.

My soul, my being, drinking my fill—getting my fix—taking in all of it.

The area was jam-packed with hundreds of people playing. Young. Old. Families. Sunbathers, Swimmers. Volleyballers, Walkers. Cyclists. Bikers. Runners. Lovers.

Deep blue waters stretched to the horizon, waves coming and coming in rhythmic song, sun reflecting off the surface in brilliant glittering streams, in the distance surfboards bobbed as surfers waited hoping to catch a wave, near the shore waves crashed then crept up the sand as children played in the splash—some racing in, while others ran away—all laughing and screaming.

Our table ready, we were seated on the patio and in no time were partaking of REAL New England Clam Chowder and Sourdough Bread—loving just being together and enjoying that panorama view a little bit longer.

January 3, 2024 we said our good-byes and I love yous and hugged and hugged again. Walking towards the Terminal, looking back, locking eyes, we waved and waved and I may have signed, “I love you”.

Arriving back to the Big City about 10PM, I drove the hour and a quarter home, got a few winks, followed by a work day that began early.

The New Year was out the gate and I was HOPEFUL. Although I was busy I had a plan. The first two weeks I focused only on absolute priorities writing them in my Calendar and checking off the boxes.

I was thankful to be able to add two blogs: January 10 was simple and January 14, “A Prayer To God From Every Child Of God” flowed quickly. Plus I was excited to have several other blogs on my heart.

By the middle of the month, I’m playing catch-up with my Calendar “January Dates to Remember” on
SQUARE 31, “Robin’s Birthday”
SQUARE 26, “Robin with Jesus”
It hit me hard as I realized 20 years had gone by since my baby sister died. TWENTY YEARS! And for the first time, I wrote on
SQUARE 22, “Last time Robin and I were together”

From a deep reservoir came a tidal wave of grief. I laid my head on my desk as heaving sobs and tears and wailing erupted. Nobody heard or saw me but God.

On January 22, 2004 I had no idea when I hugged Robin’s neck, kissed her cheek, and said our goodbyes that I would receive a call from Rosie a few days later. She was crying and totally in shock, “Robin’s dead…of a heart attack…!”

The TWENTY-YEAR Anniversary of Robin’s Home Going to Heaven, I wasn’t expecting this…this journey. Rosie and I have talked. We’ve cried and laughed. We’ve remembered times with our baby sister. That’s been good and healing.

I know Jesus is with me and Robin is with Jesus and one glorious never-ending forever we will be together. That truth is God’s amazing grace that gives me peace and comfort!

Part of my journey has been lamenting. The Bible verses below have given me words to express my heart and hope in my God. If you’re in a hard place, I pray the God of all hope comforts you and gives you His peace as well.

Selected verses from Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food
    day and night
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.
 I say to God my Rock,
 “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,”
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.”

One day there will be no more tears.

I SO look forward to sharing the rest of the story! “It’s Been A Hard Year, But It Didn’t Start Out That Way, Part 2″🌻